Know who you are *Revelation 2
One of your many names
Do you know who you are? Who you are has a lot to do with how you mom. You are not "becoming" someone else, you are always becoming more of who you are meant to be.
In God’s great plan and wisdom, He not only knew you would be a mother someday, He made you with your own talents, interests and personality. Before you are a mother, you are first and foremost His child. He wants good things for you. He wants you to have a life full of abundant joy.
God loves who you are, He created you special. Your personality and gifts not only make up your character, but will contribute to developing your children’s characters as well. Knowing who you are, embracing your strengths and acknowledging your shortcomings will not only give you more confidence as a mother but will also help your children to build up their own self-confidence as well.
“I know the desires of your heart. I am working in you to give you those desires.” Ephesians 2:16
You know how much you love your children. You want for them to love themselves for who they are as much as you love each of them for who they are. Just like we want for our children, God wants for us. We are His children. He wants you to love who you – He does. He created you just the way you are. Whether that is strong willed, laid back, soft spoken or passionately loud. God loves who you are and who He created you to be. You are His child. He planned you just that way.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10
This challenge we will take some time for self-reflection. What makes you special? There are, I am certain, many things that make you exceptional and unique. You are very precious and valuable to God. It is the Truth recorded in His word. No matter how much you love your child, how much more do you think the Father in Heaven loves you? He created you with great care. He planned on you.
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
He knew what your personality would be like and what your interests would be. He wants you to know too. Be confident in who you are. A daughter, whom He loves and takes great joy in.
“Know who you are.”
There are all different types of women in the world and that makes for all different types of mommies. What we have in common is the need to provide for our children and be certain we are doing what is best for them. The funny thing is that the best thing for them is for us to flow in our gifts and emphasize our own strengths. Your kids are a part of you! They need to see your strengths and see you flowing in your gifts and strong qualities. Seeing you thrive is one of the first and strongest influences they will have on their own life that will help to encourage them to thrive as well.
All you need to discover is who you are. Well that mystery is more easily solved than you may think. Remember that it is not about trying to be a certain “type” of mom. It is about embracing the woman God created you to be. Know who you are, what you enjoy and who you want to be.
Categories of Moms (just to name a few)
Soccer mom – always on the go. Running the kids from place to place. Practice, games, classes, recitals. (Does not actually have to be soccer.)
Crafty mom – Scrap books, sewing, art projects, anything on Pinterest. That’s what inspires you. You like to work on projects and create things with your own two hands.
Homemaker mom - You enjoy cooking and baking and even cleaning. Hanging out at home is your idea of a good time. Keeping a clean home, making dinner and packing lunches makes you feel like you are truly caring for your family and you take great pride in caring for your home.
On the go mom - Out to the mall, the grocery store, dry cleaners. You love to be on the go. Online shopping – are you kidding?! No, you enjoy being behind the wheel and pacing through stores. You feel a sense of accomplishment because you were able to stop at so many different places. The thought of sitting at home on the couch makes you cringe with boredom.
Nature mom – Picnics, parks and hiking the trails makes your heart come alive. You love to be out and about in nature and just feeling fit and fabulous. You appreciate the beauty around you and love to be active.
Business mom - You are crazy about your kids. But being with them every second of the day would drive you mad. You need to socialize with adults. The kids are fun to come home to but you feel most important at work.
Which role best describes you? Maybe you fit the description of more than one. You may even identify with each category. No matter how much you may want to, you can’t be all of them. You may find yourself trying to be all of them. That may be half the battle. You are one person. We all have many areas of interest and several of the above sentences may describe you, but not all. And that is okay, more than okay, it is great!
Before you are a mother, or a wife or even an employee, before you are a sister or daughter or friend, before you are anything else you are a woman. You have talents and interests. There are interests that energize you and bring you joy. There are things you are good at and things you are not.
Knowing who you are as a woman, acknowledging the areas that interest you as well as the ones that do not is going to help you find balance within yourself.
If you are a “Soccer mom”, you love sports and exercise, chauffeuring a van full of kids from one activity to the next. It is unlikely that you are also a “Homemaker mom”, the idea of mixing up some cookies or sitting down at your kitchen table – for hours on end - to hand cut and paste an album full of memorabilia may be daunting to you. There is nothing wrong with that. You may still bake a batch of cookies for the team and with the kids (at Christmas), and you may even stick your pictures in an album, but the description of “Homemaker mom” is not for you.
Know your gifts and your interests. Embrace and thrive in your gifts. You will be more fulfilled and your children will reap the benefits. Just because you identify best with the Homemaker doesn’t mean you dislike going to the baseball games and gymnastic classes. You will undoubtedly still attend as many events as possible because whether or not you enjoy the sport, you are crazy about your kids. Supporting their interests is a big part of what makes you a great mother.
Knowing who you are as a woman and as a mother allows you to maximize on your strengths. There is no guilt for not being a different type of mother. Remember that God created you just the way you are for a reason and purpose.
Dear God, Grant me the serenity to accept The things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.
There may be things that you like about yourself, and things you wish were different. That is normal, we have all been there. If you want to make some changes, do it and do it with pride and real effort. But do not beat yourself up of things that just are not you. You don’t want your children to dislike things about themselves, so you shouldn’t either. They are learning from you, after all.
Character flaw or personality trait?
I am the late mom. No matter how hard I try to be on time or even early, I fail – every time. Even if I am seemingly going to make it on time, something happens, bad traffic, the kids forgot something we need and I have to go back – something always happens. Because it happens so frequently, it has become somewhat of a joke. In fact, if I did show up early to an event people would be sure it was not really me.
Now this is an example of something I could probably change, (though I have tried and failed before.) I really don’t like being late and my kids don’t like it either. I had gotten to the point where I started beating myself up over being late. “Why didn’t I just lay everything out the night before?”, or “Why can’t I get it together?” I felt that I was letting them down and everyone else too.
The truth was, I often just overfill my plate and too many responsibilities in too limited time will make you late, no matter how hard you try. I didn’t lay things out the night before because I was too busy, my plate was full. I didn’t have time the night before. At night I said to myself, just go to bed, you can get it in the morning.
I still run late regularly. But I accept that is who I am. I am the woman with too many plates and too many entrees on the plates. I am the woman who juggles a lot of jobs and responsibilities and people and challenges because that is who I am. I have a lot of things going on and I like it that way! If I didn’t have a lot going on I would feel bored. I would feel less valuable. I need to have a lot of things to juggle, it is who I am and sometimes, as a direct result, I am late. And now I am okay with it.
There are still plenty of people who give me a hard time about being late or having so many different jobs and responsibilities. But now I just smile and nod. They don’t have to understand it, as long as I do. It is how God made me. I am just busy, but I always make time for the things and people who matter most, because you have time for what you make time for. And I will likely never stop being busy, it is who I am and I love that about me.
The way to be the best mom you can is to embrace the woman you were created to be.
God did a good work when He created you too and He wants you to know it! The more you know about yourself, the better mother you can be for your children. Chances are, since they are your kids, they will like some things that you like too. (Not everything of course. And somethings they’ll get from dad – but luckily that is why you love him too, right?)
It is great to try new things with your kids and identify with their interests. Encourage them to be confident in whom they are created to be. Emphasize on their strengths. Whether it is your thing or not, show an interest in what brings them joy. Maybe your daughter thinks scrap booking would be fun, so do a small album together, it will be great for bonding. But don’t try and make it a weekly occurrence if you do not enjoy it. The way to be the best mom you can is to embrace the woman you were created to be. Flow in your talents, your interests, and don’t stress if you do not get into the same hobbies as the other moms you know.
Being who you are is important, not only for you but for your children, they will follow your good example as you support them to be who they are.
Time for some Q & A.
Answering the questions on the following pages will give you insight to your own desires, interests, strengths and identity. Take your time. There are NO wrong answers here. At the end of this program/book you will not be asked to submit your answers and no one will revoke your mothering license. This is to help you and your family. It is important that your answers reflect the truth in your heart.
Each day, spend twenty minutes thinking about and reflecting on these questions and your answer. Be sure to keep up with your daily accomplishments log as well.
Example: Here are some popular answers to give you a head start and get you thinking about your own answers. Remember there is no wrong answer. You can fill out your own answers on the next pages.
1. What would you do if you had a day to yourself? No chores, no kids, just you…
Sit around bored. I am lost without my kids and I have no idea what I would do if they were not around.
Catch up on my scrap booking. I love doing it, but when they are around I can’t focus or worse they make a huge mess with my glitter and paste.
Lunch with the girls. It has been too long since I enjoyed adult company with no kids allowed.
Shopping. I would love to take a day to stroll the mall, try on some new clothes and walk at my own pace. I am always rushed to get in and out to avoid a meltdown and I seldom get time to just window shop.
Sit and read a good book or watch TV, no interruptions, no cartoons. Just relax.
Happy Pinning! I could spend a few hours on Pinterest and Facebook and just enjoy the World Wide Web.
Sleep. I don’t know the last time I got real, uninterrupted sleep. I could use a day of rest and relaxation.
2. Mother. What does that mean to you? (Use at least 6 positive adjectives)
Take your time, come back to this one if you’d like. Describe the role of mother, maybe your own mother or even from your child’s prospective. What words might they use to describe you and what you mean to them?
3. What do you enjoy doing? Hobbies, interests, what brings you joy? What excites you?
(Please list at least 3 favorite activities. These are a few of your favorite things…)
I love to run. Exercising makes me feel energized and running makes me feel free.
Reading. I love to get lost in a good book. When my favorite author releases her next title I can’t wait to curl up on the couch and indulge.
Music. I love to sing, dance, I even play a little. Music is definitely my thing.
Scrap booking. Creating beautiful pages and filling a book with our memories. I love to cut, paste and create. Crafts are my thing.
Photography. I love taking pictures, editing them and sharing them online.
Sports. I love Pro, College and watching my boys play.
Cooking. Preparing a flavorful meal and desert makes me feel appreciated by my entire family
Painting. I love to paint canvas or ceramics. Taking something that is plain and blank and turning it into a colorful master piece, there is nothing I enjoy more.
4. What kind of mother do you want to be? There are many different types.
(You gotta answer this one all on your own.)
Fun mom, cool mom, cuddly mom? Helicopter mom, hands free mom? Silly mom, serious mom, wise mom? Be descriptive in your answer. You’ll want this later.