You Weren’t Called to Be Her — You Were Called to Be You

Why I’m Not Striving for Proverbs 31 Perfection (and You Don’t Have to Either)

Well girls, it all comes down to one thing: identity.

We spend our whole lives trying to figure out who we are and who we’re supposed to be. We search for identity in friendships, careers, roles, and accomplishments. We try to be the best friend, the supportive wife, the perfect mom, the accomplished businesswoman and somewhere in the striving, we whisper:

Who am I? What am I even good at?

And then, for those of us who follow Jesus, another layer gets added—or really, a foundation. Our identity is now rooted in something deeper. We’re not just striving to “figure it out,” we’re trying to live like Christ. That’s beautiful... but it can also feel impossible.

And right there, in the middle of our searching and growing, comes this woman we’re supposed to become:The Proverbs 31 Woman.

When the “Perfect Woman” Becomes a Pressure

Some women adore Proverbs 31. And truthfully? It’s a great chapter. Whether the woman described was real, idealized, or a collage of many, she’s got it all going on—early riser, wise investor, homemaker, servant leader, highly praised by her family, celebrated in her city.

But for many of us? She’s a standard that feels unattainable.

Let’s be honest. I’m not a morning person. I don’t have a staff of servants to manage. I’ve had business failures. My husband isn’t known at the city gates. And while I adore my family and do my best, this checklist of “perfection” leaves me feeling like I’ll never measure up.

Here’s the truth:Trying to become the Proverbs 31 woman isn’t God’s call for every woman. There. I said it.

I know it might sound controversial, but stick with me.

You Were Never Meant to Be a Copy

The idea that every woman is meant to become this one particular woman just doesn’t align with the rest of Scripture. God created us each with unique gifts, stories, talents, and timing. The idea that we should all morph into a single ideal doesn't match the creative heart of our Creator.

Yes, the Proverbs 31 woman displays incredible character. She speaks with wisdom, helps the poor, laughs without fear of the future. These are powerful, Christ-like qualities—and they are worth pursuing.

But they’re not a mold we were all meant to squeeze into.

Enter: The Pineapple 🍍

This is where the pineapple analogy comes in—because I believe God gave it to me as a better picture of who we’re called to be.

Pineapples are sweet. Unique. Full of flavor. They wear a crown. And they’ve got just enough pizzazz to make you take notice.

No two pineapples are exactly alike. But even in their uniqueness, they’re still easily recognizable. You don’t look at a growing pineapple and ask, “Hmm, I wonder what that is?” You know it by the shape, the crown, the color, and the fruit.

You Will Know Them by Their Fruit

Jesus said it like this in Matthew 7:16–20:

“You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. A good tree produces good fruit… Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”

We are called to bear good fruit.That’s how the world will know we belong to Him.

So what does that look like?Paul tells us clearly in Galatians 5:22:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

That’s our measuring stick. Not Proverbs 31.Not perfection.Just fruit.

Meet the 522Gal

This is why I’m building a movement called 522Gals—because I want to invite women into a new kind of spiritual journey. One where we stop chasing perfection and start living fruitful, Spirit-led lives.

A 522Gal is:

• Sweet and enjoyable

• Unique in her gifts and story

• Crowned with purpose and value

• Bearing the fruit of the Spirit

• Walking in confidence with a little pizzazz ✨

That’s who I want to be. And that’s who I want to encourage you to become.

So Exhale, Friend.

You weren’t called to be her. You were called to be you.

You are a daughter of the Most High God. He created you for this time, this place, this purpose. He knows your name, your gifts, and your struggle. And He wants you to grow, not compare.

Let’s stop chasing someone else’s highlight reel. Let’s stop measuring ourselves by someone else’s standard. Let’s be pineapples. Let’s bear fruit. Let’s become 522Gals.

Want to keep growing with us?👉 Check out 522Gals.com for more encouragement, resources, and upcoming courses designed just for you.👉 Share this post with a friend who needs a fresh breath of grace today.👉 Leave a comment below: What part of this resonated most with you?

You are seen. You are loved. You are enough.

Keep wearing your crown, girl. 👑